Sunday, October 30, 2011

Happy Time and Hard Time

Isla and I have a little moment each evening when we check in with each other. Sometimes it's before we even eat dinner, but usually it happens when we are lying down in bed, after saying our nighttime blessing. We call it "Hard time, and happy time," and it started out spontaneously about a year ago, when I knew she had had a hard day. All it is is a moment to share one (or more!) hard time and one happy time that we each remember from the day. I make sure I don't make her feel responsible for any of my hard times, so I never say anything like, "My hard time was when you threw a huge tantrum on the grocery store floor!" or anything like that. I love this little connection, and it often gives me real insight into her day and her heart. She tells me things like, "My hard time was when *so-and-so* threw water on me at lunchtime at school," or "My happy time was when Lyra shared her special doll with me." It is so sweet. I think/hope it will continue into her teenage years...

I came up with the idea after reading somewhere about a mom and daughter who kept a journal to each other. The mom would write to the daughter, and leave the journal on her bed. Then, the daughter would write back to her mom, and leave it on her mom's bed. It went back and forth this way for years, and they had great communication and mutual understanding largely because of it. I'd like to maybe start doing that when the girls are older.

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